The truth is it's a miracle that I'm self-employed because I am afraid of everything! No, I mean it.I am the most afraid person I know (that admits it). I'm afraid of the usual things: that guy standing over there, that spider in the corner that's been there for weeks and seems to pay no attention to me, dropping my keys in the dark when I'm in a hurry to get in the house because of that guy standing over there. You know, the normal, everyday things.
But I'm also afraid of some things that just make me crazy because they are debilitating: fear of failure - oh, that's the BIG ONE; and fear of success because, you know, somebody might come out from under a rock and out me for being not so perfect at earlier times in my life. Fact is, I say they're debilitating but somehow I guess they're not because here I am, my own boss and my own employee for going on 12 years (with only one short interruption during which I worked a temp job and cried A LOT because my soul was being devoured by cubicle world).
Apparently, the fear of my soul being devoured by cubicle world is greater than all my other fears.
Guess what? Fear is normal. It keeps us from doing stupid things without at least some thought. It keeps us from walking out into the street without looking during rush hour. It keeps us from jumping in the deep end if we know we can't swim. It makes us think. Thinking helps us prepare.
So for myself - and for you, if you're needing it right now - I'm jumping into this blog by sharing a TED Talk by Brené Brown dealing with what's really scaring me (and perhaps you?) about starting and maintaining a blog: CRITICS. And let's not pretend that the critics category doesn't include ourselves. Oh, it does. We are awesome and fearsome and really jerky critics of ourselves.
Well, just as I got over it and somehow hired myself as a permanent employee, I'm going to get over this fear of blogging because, well you know, it's time to get to work.